Now this is by far the best thing I’ve seen today. This picture was snapped last night at the Moscow premiere of Transformers 2: Revenge of the Fallen and could be the very first confirmation that time travel does indeed exist. Yes the picture is of Megan Fox which is already pretty fucking awesome, but what makes it even better is that the kid with the rose is wearing a shirt that I would have been rocking out on the playground back in the late 80s. I don’t know how that fat chubby kid got from 1986 to 2009 but I think we should capture him and find out who he is, what he wants, and why he’s trying to make moves on my future wife. After all of that we can point and laugh at him because he’s fat.
Filed under: Funny Shit | Tags: Celebrities, Funny Shit, Girls Who Used to be Hot, Grimace, Kelly Clarkson
Quick someone shoot it! I have no idea what happened to Kelly Clarkson. A couple of years ago she was a girl that I would have probably had sex with, now she looks like a female version of Grimace. Yeah I like Grimace and I want him to find love but I don’t think his race was ever supposed to reproduce. He was the last of a dying breed that if allowed to multiply would quickly overrun earth and make us their slaves. I don’t want that and I’m pretty sure that you don’t want that but apparently Kelly Clarkson really doesn’t give a fuck what we want. What a selfish cunt.
I don’t really know what Red Bull Cola is but it seems that it’s new and has been banned in several German states because recent tests have found that it contains trace amounts of cocaine. Not enough to actually do what cocaine is supposed to do but enough to actually get people to cry about it.
Six German states have told retailers to stop selling Red Bull Cola energy drinks after a test found a trace amount of cocaine.
The bans started Friday after a sample test conducted by authorities in North Rhine-Westphalia state found 0.4 micrograms per liter in the drink.
Five other states also banned it from shops amid concerns over possible narcotics law violations.
Germany’s Federal Institute for Risk Assessment said Monday that the cocaine level was too low to pose a health risk. It planned to produce a more detailed report Wednesday.
This is probably the best thing I’ve read all day. The best part of the article is how it’s stated that the levels were way too low to pose a health risk. I think it should say “the cocaine level was too low to be really fucking awesome.”
Source: Associate Press
Filed under: Girls | Tags: Celebrities, Flex to Get Rid of Swine Flu, Funny Shit, Girls, Heidi Montag, Spencer Pratt, Swine Flu, Women
I think these pictures just prove that Spencer Pratt is a total fucking bad ass. Now I don’t agree with everything the guy does but just take a step back and look at this for a second. While people are locking their doors and avoiding public places in fear of catching Pig AIDs, Spencer is walking around the birthplace of the virus without a fucking shirt on. That’s some crazy shit right there. Oh and I don’t care what any of you say, I would so totally do Heidi Montag, with or without that mask.
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: Celebrities, Funny Shit, Paris Hilton, Swine Flu
While everyone in the country is running out and buying all of the surgical masks they can get their hands on, Paris Hilton remains calm and collected. Click the video above to see why Paris has absolutely nothing to worry about when it comes to catching the PIG AIDs.
Btw, For the next week I’m going to go out of my way to try and catch Swine Flu and guess what – I won’t. I could get naked in a pig pen and dry hump the little fuckers all day and I still wouldn’t catch it and honestly if I did I would just flex my muscles and the germs would scatter in fear. That’s why I’m not scared of Swine Flu.
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: Funny Shit, Larry Wachowski, Movies, The Matrix
Let’s face it, when it came out The Matrix was what the kids like to call the “cat’s pajamas.” It had people doing flips and slowing down time and learning Kung-Fu, it was awesome. Well, now that it’s been 10 years since it came out and you’ve seen bullet-time being used in kitty litter commercials, it’s about time to reveal one of the people who co-directed it, Larry Wachowski.
ERRRRRRRRRR
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: Funny, Funny Shit, Nancy Cartwright, Scientology, The Simpsons, YouTube
Ok this is just messed up. Check out this video of Nancy Cartwright, the voice of Bart Simpson cold calling people to trick them into attending a Scientology seminar. Now I have no idea what Scientology is but I’m pretty sure it has something to do with shooting lazers out of your eyes and sitting on funny looking chairs… I could be into that kind of shit.
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: Ashlee Simpson, Celebrities, Funny, Funny Shit, Jessica Simpson, MySpace
Watch out Internet, Ashlee Simpson has taken to MySpace to defend the current bout of obesity that has crippled her once hot sister.
I am completely disgusted by the headlines concerning my sister’s weight. A week after the inauguration and with such a feeling of hope in the air for our country, I find it completely embarrassing and belittling to all women to read about a woman’s weight or figure as a headline on Fox News.
All women come in different shapes, sizes, and forms and just because you’re a celebrity, there shouldn’t be a different standard.
Is this something you would say to your wife, daughter, mother, grandmother, or even a friend?
I seriously doubt it.
How can we expect teenage girls to love and respect themselves in an environment where we criticize a size 2 figure?
Now can we focus on the things that really matter.
This all seems rather hilarious coming from a woman that looks nothing like she did 5 years ago. If I was Ashlee I’d be happy my sister turned into a big fat pig. Finally she could become known as the “hot sister” and not the annoying talentless one with the fake nose.
Filed under: Movies | Tags: Across the Universe, Celebrities, Dita Von Teese, Edward Norton, Evan Rachel Wood, Funny Shit, Girls With Father Issues, Marilyn Manson, Mickey Rourke, Movies, SuicideGirls, The Wrestler
In what could be the lowest a female has ever sunk in her life, it’s rumored that 21 year old hottie, Evan Rachel Wood is fucking the ugliest old person in the world, Mickey Rourke. Now to get a good understanding of what kind of girl Evan Rachel Wood is you just have to look at her past hookups. The “Across the Universe” starlet was boning Edward Norton when she was 18 and was the cause of breaking up Marilyn Manson’s marriage to Dita Von Teese when she was 19. Norton was 36, Marilyn Manson was 38, and now she’s blowing Mickey Rourke who is 56 FUCKEN YEARS OLD! Even creepier is that Mickey Rourke played her father in “The Wrestler.” Here’s a quote about her relationship with Rourke from a SuicideGirls interview back in December.
“People thought we were dating because we got so close in a family kind of way. That’s why we felt comfortable enough to put our arms around each other. We were just buds.”
This bitch has some issues. I do have to give it up to Mickey Rourke though. He is making the most of this comeback by banging anything he can get his creepy old man hands on. No hate Mickey, no hate.
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: Funny, Funny Shit, Halo, Halo Wedding, Retards, YouTube
What the fuck is wrong with people? Watch the video above and be thankful that you are not involved with these people in any way, shape or form – if you are, kill yourself. Now I’m not against Halo in any way but I am against handicapped people being allowed to get married, procreate, and take up the valuable space that could otherwise be occupied by something more important like a chair or a garbage can or something.
